If you’ve ever said YES when you wanted to say NO…
If you’ve kept the peace to avoid the fallout…
If you’ve built a fortress around your heart to protect yourself from being hurt again—
This one’s for you.
Because there’s a big difference between boundaries and barriers.
And many women confuse the two.
Let’s fix that.
Self-Protection or Self-Sabotage?
Here’s the truth:
Boundaries aren’t about keeping people out.
They’re about letting the right ones in—with respect.
But most of us weren’t taught how to set them.
We were taught to please. To accommodate.
To smile through the discomfort.
To be the “nice girl” even when it cost us our peace.
So, we end up stuck.
If we speak up, we’re “too much.”
If we stay silent, we’re resentful.
But the key isn’t whether you set boundaries—it’s how you do it.
Boundaries rooted in love are clear, kind, and calm.
They don’t push people away.
They teach them how to love you better.
Too High, Too Low… or Just Right?
Some of us go the other way.
We build walls so high, even the good ones can’t get in.
This usually comes from past pain.
We protect ourselves by shutting down.
But here’s the thing: you can’t selectively numb.
If you block out the pain, you block out joy too.
Others have boundaries so low, they might as well not exist.
It’s like leaving your front door open 24/7—no filter, no protection.
Overgiving. Overcompensating. Overexplaining.
Until you don’t even recognize yourself anymore.
The sweet spot?
Boundaries that honor your heart and your healing.
That let others in, but not at the expense of your self-worth.
Boundaries Are a Love Language
Think of boundaries as an act of self-respect.
They’re not punishments.
They’re protection.
They’re not about control.
They’re about clarity.
Setting a boundary says:
“I know what I need.
I trust myself to ask for it.
And I love myself enough to follow through.”
This is especially important in relationships.
Because love without boundaries isn’t love—it’s sacrifice.
And sacrifice without consent? That’s self-abandonment.
Stop Building Fortresses. Start Building Respect.
Boundaries start with a conversation—with yourself.
What are your non-negotiables?
Where do you feel drained, disrespected, or disconnected?
Then, practice expressing them—with kindness and courage.
Boundaries that are clear and consistent help people rise to meet you.
And the ones who don’t?
They were never meant to stay.
Want Help Getting Clear?
If you’re tired of feeling misunderstood, taken for granted, or like your needs don’t matter—
You’re not hard to love.
You just need the right boundaries.
And that’s exactly what we dive into inside the Conscious Communication Blueprint—my powerful mini-course that helps you speak your truth with confidence, compassion, and clarity.
Because the most powerful relationship you’ll ever have…
Is the one you build with yourself.
About the Author: Sanaiyah Gurnamal is a Love Alchemist transforming your past experiences, including the not-so-shiny ones, into pure relationship gold. She is the host of the Spotify Top 50 podcast, Project Loving Myself. Take my Love Block Quiz to discover why you struggle with love.
Fantastic and profound writing, you have written an understanding of the position of self.
I love how you state to express them with love and kindness. THIS is si important because when we hear "boundaries", we may feel like it has to come across horribly, but it doesn't!